When you are handed your baby there is no instruction booklet given at the same time. Your mind is full of your ideas of the perfect mother and your heart is full of longing to be that perfection. Life however isn't like that. Life isn't perfect. Love is the only thing that makes things right. That makes life worth living.
As soon as I saw this image on the screen all those years ago I was filled with pure love. My life took on a new meaning. It became full of fear and hope in equal measures.
The moment my girl was born I felt I had arrived somewhere. Somewhere comforting, exciting and scary. Somewhere that I needed to explore. I knew that the journey ahead would be full of ups and downs but that love would be our guide.
Along the years I have made many mistakes and we have each had our hearts torn by our harsh words and selfish actions yet through it all we have always had a deep seated love for each other. A mutual love that gives us a base to come back to. That offers forgiveness and acceptance. So somehow despite my imperfectness my first born girl has grown into a beautiful young lady. A young lady I would happily chose as my friend.
For her 18th birthday a few weeks ago she chose to have a very grown up cocktail party at home. It was a perfect mix of her friends and our family. They say you can tell a lot about a person by their choice of friends and Lily's are a great bunch of people to know. Just like her. I'm proud to be able to say she is my daughter and humbled to be the person she turns to.
We are off on a very grown up adventure this weekend. 5 days in New York City just the two of us and I cannot wait.
Love you Lily Roisin and I always will. x
