Vintage Pleasure

Little Things Make A Big Difference

I haven't posted for a while as all I seem to have for you guys is our continuing story of recovery. I feel I should be telling you about the latest vintage treasure I have found or the blankets I have planned in my head. This blog though has a purpose and that purpose is to document our journey as a family and at the minute that journey is still one through Kitty's recovery. Our recovery as a family and as individuals.

Six months ago today, 13th April 2011, Kitty had her life saving, and living changing, surgery. Six months ago today her sisters finally saw her after 3 days of us being separated. Six months ago today we knew we had a second chance at life with Kitty and knew we had to make that life make a difference. Six months ago the lovely Mr Craigie removed a solitary jejunal haemangioma. A tiny little thing that has made such a big difference to our lives.

 

The photo shows the cause of all Kitty's bleeding.A tiny little blemish she had probably had since birth.It was stunned by the water and the surgeons managed to get a really clear shot of it. The jejunum is only about 4cm in diameter so you can see that the haemangioma was actually very small compared to the big effect it had. It's no wonder that her first surgeon couldn't find it in the metres of intestine he carefully looked through. It really was like looking for a needle in a haystack. Without the CT scan there would have been no way of knowing where it was.

This tiny thing that could have been the source of great sorrow has in fact be the source of new beginnings and fresh hope. In that life changing experience I learnt so much about myself and others. I came out of it knowing that I had to give back. Not only by fundraising for the place that saved her but also by helping families in similar situations.

Over the next 4-5 years I am going to be volunteering in the healthcare service. Supporting children and families who find themselves in potentially life changing situations. My ultimate goal is to retrain as a Play Specialist. It could take as long as 6 years for me to build up the necessary qualifications and experience but I am excited at the prospect of giving back. Before Kitty's Story began I was more than happy to be a stay at home mum but now I feel I have something more to offer. I almost feel like I would be failing as a mother if I didn't help others. Hopefully the little things I do will make a big difference to someone else's life.

 

 

A Little Piece Of The Cake

Thank you for all the 'Let Them Eat Cake' love. I mentioned in the last post that there was going to be a way for those of you who couldn't make it on the day to still support us.

Megan Thomas kindly designed a lovely print for the event.

 It comes in 2 colourways and 2 sizes.

(Please note the tag line is the one shown in the blue print)

A4 size are £4 and A3 size are £8

P&P in UK is £2 (no charge for additional prints)

P&P overseas is £3 (no charge for additional prints)

 

To keep costs to a minimum and ensure all the money possible goes to Royal Manchester Children's Hospital these will be printed to order.

If you would like to support us by purchasing one of these lovely prints then please leave a comment or send me an email and I will arrange to send you a Paypal invoice.

 

Let Them Eat Cake

People often ask me what is the point of twitter and blogs? I find it hard to put into words but 'Let Them Eat Cake' encapsulated all that is good about social networking. It brought all of my online friends into direct contact with my offline friends. It showed there is a real connection within the online community. It enabled local businesses to contribute to their community and for all our friends to show that they are real friends whether we have met them in person or not. It was a lesson in human kindness that I will be forever grateful for.

My friends and family were amazing and baked their socks off. So big thanks to Helena, Evy, Vera, Rachael, Lindsey, Louise, Jo, Rachel, Heather and Steph. We had an array of food described by one guest as 'Straight out of an Enid Blyton book or Harry Potter feast'. Almost everything  was donated for free for the day which meant our out goings were kept to the very minimum and every penny raised was able to go to the  Royal Manchester Children's Hospital Charity

We had a team of lovely 'vintage' waitresses who ensured all the guests were kept topped up with tea and that the plates were never empty. Helped by a huge water urn supplied by Mann's Wharf.The pies from Bradley's Bakery were very well received. In the kitchen were are small army of people making sandwiches and washing up. In fact 'Team Kitty' worked like a well oiled machine. 

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It was a lovely feeling opening our home to so many supportive people and seeing them actually have fun. The time really flew by and it was soon time for the raffle. So many lovely items had been donated to sell and raffle everyone was seriously spoilt for choice. All were delighted with their winnings and we were delighted so many people wanted to help. We truely couldn't have done it without everyone's support. Both in donating items and in buying tickets. We have so many people to thank...

Treefall Design, Thirty Five Flowers, Snapdragon, Three Red Apples, I'm a Ginger Monkey, Ruth Quilts, Ruth Singer, Lu Summers, Victoria Whincup, History's Attic, Stuart Thornley, Lady Behave, French Knots, KItty Eden, Cara Law, Dipity Do Dah, La Chic Unique, Little Tea Wagon, Vintage Jelly, The Secret Tea Cup, Old Fashioned Susie, Higgledy Piggledy, Tea Experience, Megan Thomas and Blueberry Park for all sending gorgeous items for us to sell and raffle.

A big thank you has to go to Carousel Kids for all their help with the designing the tickets and also a delightful tea-cup shaped keepsake wth all the sponsors details on.

The sale and raffle looked a lttle like a mini version of our Agnes Darling stall and was full of lots of items made and donated by our friends Ruth, Heather, Jacqui, Charlie, Kitty and also our fellow Vintage Village stall holders...

Tin Trunk, Village Vintage, Woodchip Boutique, The Side Room, Christine's Crafts, Rachel's Boutique, High Tea, House of Gingerbread, Time for Tea and Cake, All Our Yesterdays, Lost But Not Forgotten, Grumbi Dolls, Parrot in the Pantry, Karin FIndell, Oh Betty and Vintage by Moya.

More photos here

Finally we need to thank our guests. The 60 people who bought tickets and actually came on a drizzly Saturday afternoon to support us. Who were generous in more ways than one.

We are incredibly blessed to be able to share our story with so many. I realise that not everybody is fortunate to have such a happy ending and sometimes the heartbreak for some is too much to bear but my life has taught me that every story can teach us about ourselves and others. Every story can enable us to make a difference.

We hope that the amazing amount of £1200 that we raised will make a positive difference to somebody else's story. That our efforts can help somebody else even in a little way but in truth giving back has probably helped us much , much more.

(Tomorrow I will post about how you can still help us make a difference)

 

 

 

 

Giving Back

 
                              Image used with kind permission of

                                          The Secret Teacup

Whilst we were stuck in our worst nightmare we were amazed by how well supported we were by our family and friends. By people we'd never even met and those who knew us well as friends. I say that Kitty is our miracle but the real miracle was how we all got carried through it feeling loved and looked after. From the first minute people showed us how much they cared. Not just in words but with real life out stretched hands. Kitty received almost 100 cards whilst she was in hospital. 100 people cared enough to send a card. We had to ration visitors and often had a queue waiting outside the ward. Leaving our other girls at home to take Kitty to hospital wasn't as hard as it sounds. We knew without asking that they would be looked after. We knew our families would hold them tight.I have no doubt that without us both there things may have been very different.With us there Kitty didn't waste any energy on fear. She says that she never even realised how poorly she was until afterwards. That was in no small part to us being able to focus all our energy on her. Whilst she was in hospital one of my lovely friends organised a food rota and each day somebody cooked a meal for us and delivered it to the house. She had enough volunteers to feed us for a month! We only needed a couple of weeks but I will forever be grateful.

Whilst we were in hospital we came across many families who weren't so lucky. Families separated by distance and finance. Mum's of babies who had been in hospital since their birth. Who hadn't seen their other children in months. Children who needed to be in hospital so frequently that people just seemed to have given up visiting. It made us realise even more just how blessed we are. It made us realise we have to give back. Not just as a thank you but because we can. So out of this developed a few things. One being Kitty's Thank You page but we want to do more so came up with this....

  

 

We are opening our home and hosting and Vintage Tea Party in our garden with a sale of vintage and craft items kindly donated by lovely friends both off and online. Ticket price includes a raffle ticket and full afternoon tea with both sweet and savoury delights and bottomless cups of tea. We have some stunning handcrafted and vintage items donated by amongst others these lovely people.

Tree Fall Design      Ted and Agnes         Lady Behave         

Village Vintage        Snapdragon             I'm a Ginger Monkey     

Victoria Whincup     Kitty Eden               Lu Summers           

Ruth Singer             Tin Trunk               Stuart Thornley

History's Attic          A Thrifty Mrs         Blueberry Park       

Thirty Five Flowers  La Chic Unique       Tea Experience           

Tea Box Online       Three Red Apples    Vintage Jelly           

French Knots

We are still looking for more vintage and craft donations and any items then they would be gratefully recieved so please do get in touch.

If you would like to join us and would like more details or to buy tickets then please leave a comment and I will get back to you. For your information we are in the Ashton-u-Lyne (East Manchester area) and we will give exact address when tickets are purchased.

My New Collecting Obsession

Not long ago I sold most of my utility chins collection. It's candy colours had lost it's charm to me and someone was willing to buy it. Since then we have been using crisp white china but just recently I have been hankering after some pops of colours. I think i've found in it vintage J & G Meakin pottery. So far I have some Rockfern, some Sunshine and some Flamenco. I'm looking forward to finding more in my thrifting trips. Is there anything you are looking for?

Kitty's Story :: Zest For Life

Since that piece of toast and her first smile Kitty hasn't looked back. At first she was very weak, too weak in fact to even climb the stairs. Slowly and surely though her strength started to return physically, mentally and even emotionally. Within the first few weeks at home she managed to go to school for a few hours a day to sit her SATs it completely wiped her out but she said it made her feel normal if only for a short time.

Then on 13th June, only 9 weeks post op, she amazed us all by going on an adventure holiday with her classmates from school. It was one of the hardest things I've done. Letting my fragile, precious child go but it was the best thing we could have done for her. Her surgeon gave her the go ahead to try anything but said that stamina wise she wouldn't be up to alot of it. Much to our surprise, and her teacher's, Kitty managed to participate in everything she could! That included canoeing, climbing, caving, rafting, various challenges and even a zip wire!!

Just look at that smile!

The camp she went to, Robinwood,  and her teachers were fantastic. They provided her with a full body harness and were prepared for her to do as little or much as she felt able. They empowered her to make her own choices and challenge herself. Those 3 days away did so much for her self esteem.

From the photographs it's evident that whilst I spent my time worrying about her she was having the time of her life! She came back ready to take on the world. Then 2 days later she was that exhausted she spent a couple of days on the sofa ;)

Kitty was determined to go to school as much as she could. She wasn't up to to full days but did go in for afternoons or choir practices. Whilst she was there you wouldn't even know there was anything wrong at all. Only at home and usually at night did the panic attacks come and the thinking of her own mortality. Heavy stuff for a 10 year old.

There were more highlights in the last few months of school than probably in the rest of her life! She was awarded a Tameside Pupil of Achievement Award for her academic attainment and contribution to school, had a leavers party, got tops results in her SATS, had an induction day at her new high school, starred as the leading role in the end of year production of Joseph,got to travel in a limo on her last day of primary school and had her 11th birthday!

Her zest for life is inspiring. She is well aware how close she came to dying and some days this is hard for her. Not long after she came home she told me that she felt she had to be a better person because she had been given a second chance. I know she doesn't as she is one amazing little girl anyway who will grow into an amazing young lady I'm sure. She still feels the need to give back though and at her birthday party she asked for donations to give to the ICU at Royal Manchester Children's Hospital where she was treated. She raised an impressive £86 but wants to raise more. So we have set up a Just Giving page 'Kitty's Thank You' I am not going to beg but if you feel able then we we would be delighted if you could donate a pound and leave a message. You can even do it in the UK by texting  RMCH70 £1 to 70070.

Thanks for being there through this time.I've found it deeply cathartic and immensely helpful. I realise the blog has been a little 'Kitty heavy' recently and am looking forward to sharing with you what some of my other amazing girls have been up to aswell.

 

 

Kitty's Story :: Coming Out The Other Side

So our first night on the ward wasn't our best. Kitty was still on quite a high dose of morphine and was a little roughly handled as they moved her from the very swish,all singing all dancing (£18,000+) ICU bed to a normal ward bed. Combined with that and the fact that her gastric tube had failed she was violently sick. In a real bright green never seeming to stop exorcist kind of way. I tried my best to appear calm whilst juggling numerous cardboard sick bowls and calling for the nurse. Calling for the nurse. That was the first big change. Previously we had had at least one to one nursing and at some points during her ICU care Kitty had even had 4 nurses plus doctors. That first night as I went back to our room to collect a few things I just became so overwhelmed. One of the ICU nurses found me sobbing in the corridor and gave me a shoulder to cry on. She reassured me that Kitty was doing well and took me back to the ward where she talked the nurses through Kitty's TPN and other medications. I slept very little that night as it took some getting used to the fact that in the 4 bed room if any of the alarms went off a nurse would not come running. They would come if it was an emergency alarm but medication warning bleeps would be dealt with when they got to us. Kitty's meds and observations were scheduled for 2am. Amazingly we soon learnt to sleep through it all.

The next morning we managed to brush the front and side of Kitty's hair. She was so weak that she couldn't lift her head. The first day on the ward we had no visitors as she really wasn't up to them emotionally or physically.We began to take photos everyday. To show Kitty how she looked and prove she was getting better.

She even managed a little smile on sunday. Her favourite doctor Enni came to see her and spent some time explaining what they had done and how well it had worked. Although sunday night saw a return of the exorcist style vomiting! Thankfully that was on Daddy's shift as I had my first night's sleep at home snuggled up with my youngest.

Mr Craigie decided as the gastric tube really wasn't working it could go and this meant big smiles. Each day we seemed to be ticking things off the list. Soon the catheter was removed then her wound dressing.

Eventually she was just left with TPN through her central line and her only medication intarvenous parcetamol. This meant her lovely physios, Bethan and Amy, could get to work getting her out of bed. This was really important as she had started to develop small pressure sores on the heels and elbows.Also her neck, shoulder,one knee and one ankle had tightened so they were sore.

Bethan and Amy were absolute joys. Even though what they asked of Kitty was often hard work and painful they always managed to get her to do it with a little smile. She even looked forward to seeing them. Each time she had some improvement to show them. Each time they encouraged her with their joyful ways.

By tuesday it was decided that Kitty could have her first mouthful of food. Obviously she chose ice cream and that one teaspoon was such a tonic to our sweet girl. This was followed by 'the best toast ever' the following morning.

I can not tell you how that first real smile made my heart sing. Even looking at the photo now brings a lump to my throat. When your child is healthy you take for granted the look of life in their eyes. It's not until that light is dimmed that you realise it was even there. That first piece of toast relit Kitty's fire. She was back and she knew it.

On the thursday lunchtime it was decided to turn her 100% TPN off to see how her appetite would pick up and whether her bowel would tolerate the food. Very often the TPN is turned back on to a lesser percentage depending on how things go. Kitty did so amazingly well on that thursday and even managed to walk round the ward twice. She resembled something like Bambi on ice and it totally wiped her out but she did it. The decision was made to remove the central line and send her home the next day.

So on Good Friday 22nd April 2011 our brave and beautiful Kitty Connaghan came home. Definitely a good day.

 

 

 

Kitty's Story :: Another Chance

The decision was made to keep Kitty ventilated for 24 hours longer than was the norm for her kind of surgery. Everyone agreed her body had been through so much that it needed to rest. By this stage she had been nil by mouth for 3 days so was started on TPN. This was administered 20 hours a day through her central line and gave her all the nutrients her body needed. There were still concerns about her fluid balance and she was still continuely monitored. There were a few scares like blood in her urine and drops in her HB. The scariest time was when her oxygen saturation dropped when they were moving her around and she had to be bagged for a while. It really brought home the fact that although she was fixed if she wasn't ventilated and on TPN then she may not be alive. So all the elation we felt of thinking she was well on the road to recovery was tempered with a fear of 'what if's'. We really had to focus on the positive and the fact that we had another chance. Another chance to have this sweet girl in our lives.

That night Paddy and I felt safe enough to go sleep together. We got 6 hours sleep. The most we had had for 4 days.

Over the next few days Kitty developed a bit of a fan club. We had a steady stream of visits from all the surgeons and anaethestists who had helped her. Often they would pop in before and after their shift just to check how she was doing. Not in a professional capacity but purely because they really cared about her,and us. It was incredibly humbling to see the look of joy in their eyes as she continued to improve. I can only imagine how it feels to give somebody back something so precious as their child. I remember Symon joking with us who was going to tell Kitty she wasn't going in school on the thursday as promised. I remember Roger shaking us by the hand and thanking us and telling us it had been a pleasure to meet us.I remember Kerry telling us what a lovely little family we had.I remember Sarah saying Kitty was a superstar.I remember promising nurses that we would bring Kitty back to see them when she was well. I remember them saying how nice it was to have a happy ending. To have a child be completely made well again. That it was a rare occurence. I remember feeling completely blessed. I remember thinking this had happened for a reason.

The time came for Kitty to be woken up and to see if she could breath for herself again. I was gripped with delight and terror in equal measures. Kitty had been very 'appropriate' during her ventilation. That meant that although she was sedated she could respond to questions with nods and was well aware of what people were saying and doing. She even pulled out her gastric tube at one point. After ventilation they need to be weaned off the sedative slowly before they can be extubated. As she came round she got quite distressed and we had to explain time and time again that the tube couldn't come out just yet. There were a few tears from both of us.It was heartbreaking to see her so upset. Then just as they were ready to take the tube out a fire alarm went off. Immediately her sedative was increased and her bed was made ready for evacuation of the ward. It turned out to be a false alarm but meant that she had to be weaned off the sedative again. More tears, more heartache. They needed 2 doctors present to extubate her and just as she was ready from the second time an emergency happened on the ward and all but 1 doctor left. Kitty was quite aggitated at this stage and there was no option to sedate her again. We had to have people on 'arm duty' to ensure she didn't pull her tubes out. It was a constant battle and she was really upset with us.So I decided to explain to her what had happened.

I said something like this 'You know the boy in the bed next to you? Do you remember how poorly he looked?' she nodded 'Well he as just become stable enough to have a CT scan like you did' 'The thing is he is poorlier than you and needs the doctors more at the minute' she cried 'Do you think you can hold on until they get back?' she nodded 'What do you think you should do? Go to sleep prehaps?' She nodded and turned her head to the side and closed her eyes. Her arms relaxed and she waited. I can tell you I have never felt so proud of any of my children than I did during that conversation. She taught me so much about grace and compassion. Both her nurse and I had tears in our eyes.

When a few hours later the time came for her to breath for herself I could not watch. A fear gripped me deep inside. It went perfectly though and within minutes she was talking to us. I will never forget her firsts words 'Mummy you have purple hair and two noses' The morphine high produced some comically conversations over the next day or so. She told us of nightmares where her cousins tried to kill her.Stories of penguins and polar bears fighting and her singing 'Any dream will do' to stop them. A few times she hallucinated people were in the room who weren't. All pretty scary stuff for a poorly 10 year old.

Over the next day,friday, we saw goodbye to a number of lines and medications. She began to look at lot more like Kitty. She was still very weak but full of spirit. She took every opportunity to beg ,politely, for ice or water. She had her teeth brushed more times than I care to mention and eventually she convinced the doctors to let her swill water in her mouth as long as she promised not to swallow.The look of joy in her eyes with that first mouthful was amazing. We even got a little smile.

On the photo you can see her toy lemurs.They had been with her the whole time. The nurses used them when she was ventilated to prop up tubes and lines and she would turn her head to them, the familiar smell of home. They would place a tail into her hand and she would on to it.

Then the time came for us to leave the safety of ICU and go to a normal ward. Even though this meant she was getting better it was one of the hardest things I've ever done. Leaving the care of those lovely, lovely people with all the right equipment. I was plunged into a deep fear again.

 

Kitty's Story :: Finding The Needle In The Haystack

So she came back to the ward and was linked up to even more machines and drips. Double canula in each arm, single in each hand and one foot, arterial line in her wrist and triple central line in her neck. Heartrate monitor,saturation monitor alternating on her fingers or toes. Catheterised. She was sedated with morphine and midazolam and ventilated and had a nasogastric tube. She had needed 6 units of red blood cells during her surgery and that brings complications. So the next few hours were spent tranfusing all the plasma , platelets and also factor VII, factor V, Cryoprecipitate (clotting agents) that she was had lost. It was a constant juggling of fluids going in and coming out and monitoring their effects. She swelled up like a balloon.Her haemeglobin levels dropped to 3 and every millilitre of her blood was precious.The nurses in PICU are really mathematicians. Their calculators always worked over time and balance sheets the size of engineering tables were completed for each day with every fluid that went in or came out of Kitty.

Some time in the hours after her surgery somebody made the decision to risk a contrast CT scan. We think this was Enni and Lara both lovely tender people who we will never forget. This meant Kitty leaving PICU for 30mins or so. Risky for a child so sick.They weren't even sure if it would show anything up and since the operation her bowel had gone into shutdown and had not bled. Then, 10 minutes or so before the booked CT scan, Lucy aspirated Kitty's NG tube and drew off 300mls of blood. I will never forget the look in her eyes. The 'I am so worried but I cannot let this mum see what I am really thinking' look. It was only there for a fleeting second and then she was back in full nurse mode.Fully reassuring in her confident yet sensitve way. I can only imagine how she felt as she prepared to take Kitty off the ward. Knowing that her patient was bleeding and on a transfusion. Knowing how much faith and hope we had in her to bring her back safely again.

Around 5.30pm we all went in the lift to the CT department. There wasn't much chat on the way just a serious concentration on the monitors on Kitty's bed. As we arrived Karen was there again. Kitty's consultant had phoned the MRI ,where she just happened to be on duty,to get advice. We were sat in the waiting room and the serious silence was eventually broken by nurses laughing. I don't know whether it was nervous laughter but it was all I needed to release my nerves a little. As we sat there my vicar,Tom, and his wife,Judy, arrived. Right people,right time yet again. So the 5 of us sat and held hands. Tom said a little prayer for Kitty and we just waited together.

We were soon back on the ward and Lucy was smiling again. It just so happened that the top man in his field was on duty that day and from Kitty's CT scan he could pinpoint within 10cm where Kitty's bleed was. Another surgeon Mr Ross Craigie then came to tell us the news. He could now tell us that Kitty would not need a stoma and that there would be no long term effects on digestion or nutrition. Although we knew she still faced hours of surgery and lots of healing we were over the moon. At last they knew what they were looking for.We were one step closer to having her fixed.

They waited until all the scheduled surgeries were over and all the operating staff were able to help Kitty. The time was spent getting her as stable as they could.Around 11pm Symon and the rest of his team came to ICU to collect her. It was oddly reassuring to know that they would be looking after her again. They'd seen her through the first time and we knew they'd do it again. I remember one of the anaethetists kneeling beside me and telling about his little baby who was only months old. He told me, and I believed him, that he would care for Kitty as if she was his baby.

I remember tweeting that we managed to kiss her rosy cheeks goodbye as she left ICU. Seeing rosy cheeks after all the grey was just amazing. Paddy and I found a dark room and fell asleep in each others arms. I don't think we spoke at all. There was no need for words. We knew.

She came back to the ward about 7 hours later, minus 30cm of her jejunum.Her cheeks were still rosy and of course they were kissed again. The morning was spent fluid juggling. By the afternoon she was stable enough for us to think about letting her sisters visit. So we took a photo to prepare them. I was worried they may be scared. In the end I needn't have worried. They all cried tears of relief as she was such a better colour than the last time they saw her.They joked she looked like Russell ,from the Disney film Up ,and her fingers looked liked sausages. I reminded them she could hear them. They chatted to her and bickered over her bed.We were a family again and the longest 3 days of our life were over.We knew she was going to be okay. She just needed to rest and recover.

 

 

Kitty's Story :: PICU The First Day

When they requested Kitty's files the surgeon on duty just happened to be, Mr Bowen, a consultant who had seen Kitty when she was 15months old for a completely unrelated issue. We found that strangely comforting and yet again felt looked after. Moving to PICU we began a rollercoaster of emotions.We learnt fast to spot the signs of a new bleed. Rapid drop in blood pressure soaring heartrate.They call it third space bleeding because the bowel holds onto the blood until it is full.The body doesn't realise how much it's actually lost until the bowel releases it all in one go.In Kitty's case this soon developed to about 500mls an hour.It was a constant cycle of 30min blood transfusion plus fluids then bleed. All the time she was conscious she was aware of all that was happening. All the time she was brave. She was calm. She asked questions. Her nurses Stacey and Laura cared for her with such dignity and love.They explained everything to her and she felt safe.She had a radial arterial line fitted in her wrist to monitor her blood pressure constantly. I couldn't watch it seemed barbaric. She laughed as her blood splattered the doctor.She was so brave. She really needed a CT scan to find the source of the bleed but yet again she wasn't stable enough to leave ICU for the half hour or so needed.

All this time we wondered what to do.Should we call all the family and have them come see her just incase? Would it be best for them to remember her as she was?We had little time for dialogue about it as she needed us there, she needed us to say it was all okay,we didn't want to leave her bedside. Then the nurses told us we needed to rest to be able to help her to prepare for things to get tougher.They found us a room and Paddy went for a few hours sleep. When he got back I went for a sleep too. Whilst I was gone things went downhill. Kitty's BP dropped to 29/21 and her heartrate was in the high 170's.The decision was made that she needed and emergency laporotomy. Mr Bowen was called back in.It should have been the first day of his holiday but he came. I got the call at 2am tues morning to come back to the ward as they needed to speak to us. It was then a whirlwind of surgeons telling us possible complications. That she may have to have a stoma, she would have a central line fitted, she would be ventilated and sedated, she may not come back from surgery she may bleed to death.I couldn't sign the form ,they didn't even ask me,her dad did.

The anaesthetists came to talk us through what would happen. Kitty chatted with Symon, he told her her birthday was his wedding anniversary, she asked him if she could go back to school the next day. He said probably not but that he would try and get her back in for the thurs. She had been nil by mouth for over 24hrs now and desperately wanted a drink. Before she went to theatre all she kept asking for was an icepop and to see her sisters.

I was expecting taking her down to theatre to be one of the worst things I had ever had to do but she had such a sense of calm about her it was easy to be brave. She totally trusted those caring for her.We said our goodnight ritual and kissed her cheeks. She was off the ward about 6 hours. I can't remember what we did. I know I held her teddy close to my face the whole time. I think I hugged my husband tight. He found me a bible and I found comfort. We may have slept. When she came back she was sedated,she was ventilated,she had no stoma and they had found nothing there were no answers but she was still with us.